Dating Advice

Valentine’s Day is coming. Are you having a headache now because you have no idea what gift to give to your sweetie?

If you take time to select a gift that is thoughtful, creative and appropriate, I am sure that your sweetie will be very happy. Giving flowers and a heart-shaped box of chocolate means that you do not put any real thought into a gift to show your love. Let me offer some suggestions that will help you choose a gift that sends your love message.

Examples of gifts are tickets to see your beloved’s favorite singer in concert and songs from the soundtracks of movies you’ve seen together. Actually, you don’t have to spend money to find a great gift. You could paint a picture, write a song, or cook a favorite meal and dessert.

The point here is simply to think about what message will be sent by the gift you are giving. Remember that you are trying to find a way to show that you care and to do it in a way that lets the other person know you went to some effort to make your beloved happy. In conclusion, if you choose a gift that’s thoughtful, creative, and appropriate for where you two are, you will go a long way toward pleasing your partner. And that means you will get to enjoy a whole lot more of the benefits that come along with a happy and fulfilling relationship.

In today’s society, most people use physical attraction as their only way to decide if they should start a relationship. This notion is reinforced constantly by our media and leads to large numbers of shallow, dysfunctional and ultimately failed relationships. However, when you ask couples having been successfully married for many years what have led to their success, they rarely list physical attraction as one of the core factors. So, should physical attraction be a mate selection criterion?

I do believe that physical attraction should be one of the mate selection criteria because as human beings, we are made to feel physical attraction and it is very hard to motivate us to start a relationship without any “spark”. However, physical attraction should rank lower on our list of selection criteria due to the fact that we grow old every day and cannot keep our physical appearance to look good forever. Only our internal beauty can last forever.

When I say internal beauty, I mean good personality and character of a person. Even if you can meet and develop a relationship with the most beautiful person without any good personality and character in the world, I can guarantee that this relationship cannot last long.

A “great person” may not be a “great person for you” unless they meet your needs and desires in a partner. You should not feel guilty about your lack of physical chemistry with a “great person”. You should act compassionately by letting this person know that there is no physical chemistry so that he/she can find someone who does find him/her physically appealing.

In this new millennium, men and women have equal earning power. It is not hard to find that more and more husbands earn less than wives, and some husbands are opting to become stay-at-home dads and let their wives bring home the bacon. When you meet an amazing woman who just happens to make more money than you, are you supposed to just walk away? Or should you pursue and woo her regardless of what your pay stubs and bank statements say?

In my opinion, if you meet a good and successful woman who doesn’t care about who makes more money, then a man should date her regardless who has the stronger earning power. Here are some tips to date a woman who just might earn more than you without killing your confidence:

• Get to know her (not her money) better.
  Actually, dating a woman who just happens to make more money than you is not different from dating a woman who makes less. Especially in the early stage that you get to know one another, she wants you to get to know her quality and personality, but not her money. Instead of focusing on how much she makes, you should look for shared interests and common goals. Rather than trying to impress her with expensive gifts and dinners, you should have activities that you both enjoy without focusing on money.
• Do not be intimidated by her success.
  Most successful women intend to date and dump men who feel inferior to them. You should not be that kind of guy. She appreciates you that much more if you are secure with yourself as well as with her financial success. In fact, taking care of a woman involves more than financial support. Women are more apt to appreciate emotional intimacy with a secure man.
• Know how to handle your money.
  While the wrong kind of women may focus on how much you make, the right kind of women is far more interested in how you handle your money. Most women appreciate that you are capable of living within your means, save for the future, and invest wisely.
• Make time for each other.
  Just because a woman is financially independent of you does not mean that she does not need you to be an integral part of her life. Most successful women have busy careers and finding time for one another may be difficult. So, it should take compromise on both parts. You two should try to work together to make plans and rearrange schedules when necessary.
• Let her pay sometimes.
  The good thing of dating a successful woman is that your bank account does not have to bear the brunt of your courtship. When letting her pay sometimes, you can sit back, relax and enjoy getting to know the amazing woman sitting across from you. So, dating an incredible woman who earns more than you can let you have more money left for marriage. Isn’t it a win-win situation?

You can overcome dating failures by NOT TRYING TO PICK UP a girl. Why don’t you just start a small talk for the sake of a small talk? Just say “Hello, do you like cats?” or anything similar “unrelated to dating”. Talk to her about… stuff. Don’t be romantic. Just talk as if to a boy. This is an advice related to An offer a woman cannot refuse.

And by the way: Women love to flirt in a non-sexual way. Just smalltalking.

This is a side idea to No date, no rejection: You can approach a girl with whom you would never start a dating usually. Just to train how to talk to a woman.

All rejection fears come down to the Fear of Failure. But how in the world can you be self-confident and able and have less fear of failure if you refuse to practice? Imagine you were afraid to go to the kitchen and to open the fridge and to get a Pepsi. Imagine instead of just doing that you would sit and think and think and think about the horror of failure. There is no sense in that is it?

After all it is you who decides whether you want to look back on “a life full of chances not taken” or “a life with many used opportunities and a few failures”.

If you suffer from being alone, then ANY practice is better than no practice. Go and speak with old Grandmas in trams. Any practice is better than none. If you go shopping then go to the female cashier instead of the male and say “Hello” to her. Ask 20 women in a row “Where is the next Coca Cola factory?” or “What time is it?“. Just random girls who pass by. After a little practice you can even start to say “Hello” to beautiful women on the street.

How can you survive a “turn-down” and a “failure of dating”?

Since a woman sitting alone in a bar is asked probably 10 times per night for a date she can (and will) turn you down easily (without further thought) while it may be very bitter FOR YOU.

Now there IS a strategy to work around this devastating experience: You should WANT to be rejected. This may sound strange but is one of the most effective strategies: Make it your goal to be turned down at least 10 times per night. Laugh at rejections. Treat them as sport (you can not always win, can you?).

You can even continue to keep this “goal to fail” during advanced stages of a dating (= when already talking, when going home with her, etc).

Let me make this clear for you: You WILL get rejected in about 90%-95% of the cases. But it’s not because of YOU it’s simply because how things work. After you are more experienced that figure may drop.

You could even “start a night” with the prettiest girls around. Get rejected. Try with less pretty girls. And so on.